TBH

To be honest...

I actually have no idea if i'll be able to keep up this blog, but for the moment, I would like to spill out my brain since this new adventure I am on is officially and fully underway.  What adventure, you may ask?  College!  Bible college, to be exact.  It's funny, I am 22 years old, and I am just now starting this adventure. well, ok, that's not totally true.  I had one semester about 30 min away from my hometown and, to be honest, was left with a sour taste in my mouth.  A taste that God has fully redeemed with sweet friendships, as my sister attended 2 years later and I visited a lot and actually GOT TO KNOW people during those visits and was romanced by their love of Jesus.  Anyway, as I was saying...I'm 22 years old and just now starting this crazy adventure of bible college, now at a campus in a completely different state, where I know very few people (although so blessed to know some here), and I am at total peace.  I didn't have this great amount of peace when I decided to go on this journey, but was rather anxious of finances and classes and my seemingly never-ending battle with my health.  but here I am, 9 months later, after saving like crazy and trusting Jesus to meet me with the emotional peace i needed, my semester is paid for in-full and my heart is unwavering.  God has got a hold on my heart with His peace.  He has been SO FAITHFUL to take care of me for 22 years, I HIGHLY doubt He's going to stop now.  Before I left to drive 3 states away (with my mom and sister to help immensely in the driving dept.), everyone asked if I was nervous.  anytime anyone asks me about if i'm nervous for something new, I generally will answer, "yes,"  but Christ has steadied my heart so firmly, I began to answer with a confident, "No.  I have never been more ready or at peace for anything in my life."  I can honestly say that this is the most incredible feeling ever.  a few years ago, I sat on my bed, broken over life and my dad sat next to me and said, "what if all this happened so that you could know God's peace?"  Now, at the time I thought that was just the dumbest thing ever.   why would a loving God allow me to feel so broken JUST to know His peace???  well, because it's not JUST His peace. it's the peace of God Almighty, the Author and Finisher of our faith, Jesus Christ, the Great I AM, the One who was and is and is to come.  the God who holds all things together and holds me in His hands, the hands that created the universe and stars and molecules...everything we can and cannot see.  This is the God I serve and this is the God who gives good gifts to His children and His PEACE is one of the greatest gifts He gives and is at the heart of the Gospel.  When Jesus, who is God, came down to earth to love us and die on the cross for our sins SO THAT we could have a repaired relationship...PEACE with God when we ask for it.  Nothing is greater than that truth. That is the God I serve and that is why I have peace and can answer confidently, "no, I'm not afraid." it's because I don't have to be.

"It is the LORD who goes before you. He will be with you; he will not leave you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed.” Deuteronomy 31:8

" Have I not commanded you? Be strong and of good courage; do not be afraid, nor be dismayed, for the Lordyour God is with you wherever you go.” Joshua 1:9